Confinement and Inspiration
This year has been creatively very difficult for me. I was in the states in June when I got the offer to work as an English Assistant in France. At that time all the restaurants, bars, and stores around me were closed because of the pandemic, whereas everything in France, which had just come out of a strict government enforced lockdown, was mostly open. Watching Paris with envy from my small room, I dreamed of Paris Lit Up open mic nights at Culture Rapide, and sharing drinks at cafes with friends. Anxious for a change of scenery I accepted the position and left home for Pontoise in late October - sadly, as a result of the reinstated confinement in France, the change was not what I had hoped. Instead, I have spent the better part of these past 4 months either at the lycee where I work, or in my apartment. This intense restriction on my everyday makes me feel stifled: inspiration and motivation come sporadically and in starts, never staying long. I’ve reflected on this feeling, and I wanted to share with you how my perspective of inspiration has changed during the pandemic, and feature some of my fellow PLU teammates who have managed to overcome the circumstances of this isolating pandemic and continue to create.
Reflection is reflection, regardless of the emotional strains coloring the content it pilfers: I wonder at what has caused this creative drought? My immediate, reasonable response is to blame the confinement, isolation, and lack of interaction with others - but I hesitate to do so absolutely, for that would mean that I am at its mercy, incapable of changing my situation, and I am not so ready to do that. This little personal rebellion on my part against confinement however comes with consequences: it transforms inspiration into a potential force, awaiting action.
Patience plays an essential part in this active component of inspiration. Inspiration transcends any system, and so no part of it can be deduced; reasoning concludes, whereas inspiration imagines: perhaps it will appear to you in the form of a person you pass on your way to work, a street you’ve never been down before, or a particularly good time with friends. One thing that is certain about inspiration is that it requires a subject - an active participant - for its object to be engaged. It has been difficult for me to find this personal motivation as of late; i’ll sit on the sofa and feel frustrated with myself that I am not creating. I have thought that this frustration is simply a lack of patience: I am frustrated because inspiration is not how I expected it; I believe I know inspiration’s manifestation, but in truth I know only the result. But because of this I have developed a more profound appreciation for those who have found motivation during what feel to me stagnant months. Lucky for me then, that I have so many inspirational friends. Seeing my friends reap the fruits of the creative seeds they sow inspires me in turn to create because I am reminded that action pays dividends. I therefore wanted to return the favor and give some love to some of my PLU teammates Gracie, Matt, Leah and Ed, and share with you the results of the motivation they continue to cultivate.
Spoken-word poetry and recited works have always been a part of Gracie Bialecki's creative process. In addition to poetry, she's the co-founder of the storytelling series, Thirst.
Gracie recently released her video-poem, "Curfew," inspired by the past months in Paris. The poem addresses acceptance and forgiveness amidst the ongoing restrictions. You can read its text here.
Curfew describes personally and directly life and inspiration during the pandemic. “Get home before curfew to cover the lights, we pay for it per-view buffering our whole lives. Run ‘round before breakfast trying to start your day right, cross off your whole checklist, still can’t sleep at night.” The conditions of the curfew buffer what once was normal life, and despite the attempts to reinstate normalcy, still there lingers something about the pandemic that causes restless nights. In a dialogue with an ambiguous second, Gracie recounts the struggles and rewards of experiences she has had during confinement: “slowly we straighten this mess we created, assemble the shards of our failed conversation.” What ultimately provides her solace are the roaming walks before curfew when her thoughts also wander without direction; a patient, letting be flow. “Turn with the moonrise, pink streaks the whole sky, turn with the last light, let it fill my eyes.” She has found closure with what is the new ordinary, and feels ready to close “the closet of… discontentment” and put it to bed, because she still has that same “box of fantasies” within her that are waiting to be said; she is ready to create in harmony with herself and the circumstances of the present. “Get home before nightfall and burn the wood bright. Blaze up the old logs ‘till sparks come alive. Fields of cold start above us, know mine will align, until then, it’s time for bed.”
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Since November, Matt Jones has been giving out quests. Currently, he has four posted on his blog: Getting Started, Avoiding Pain, Humiliation, and Shame. Matt is personally acquainted with the patience that is required to bring about change, and his posts offer perspective and motivation to the sedentary adventurer who is looking for some help along various stages of their personal fitness journey. Here is a description of the project given to me by him: “Matt Jones invites you to join him on the fitness quest by slaying a mere goblin - doing a basic workout - and progressing all the way to dragon. En route, he explores the concepts that shape our bodies: shame, grief, humiliation, gender, creativity, and sacrifice. Each post has a new monster to battle, an aspect of fitness to master, and a chapter of a mythic journey. Build your team and follow the backwards-flowing river through the Forest of Thorns to reach Daganthor. You are not out of shape - you are on a quest.” The fantastical setting in the blog posts lightens the mood, and transforms our inner demons into hideous creatures which can be overcome. Here is the link to Marlene's website; she's the illustrator: https://www.artstation.com/artoftaarie.
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Leah Soeiro’s current project investigates the relation between identity, the legacy contained in objects, and her imagination of them. Here is her own description of the project: “In the spirit of dumpster diving my never-ending search for identity is about salvaging that which others have discarded. Much like a sponge, I absorb other people’s language, conventions, habits and gestures with the intention of understanding something new about myself through the discovery of others. I am therefore in the process of examining the balance between identity, legacy and imagination and what happens when one tries to understand oneself through clothes, memories, and discarded objects that once belonged to another.”
“As the project, much like the search for identity itself, is about the journey rather than the destination, it is the process that will be the focal point of this examination. I therefore invite you all to reach out to me if you would be interested in seeing what happens when a person takes over your life for an evening; showering in your shower, sleeping in your bed, cooking for your children. The idea is that I will photograph this rather unsettling identity- metamorphosis. If you are interested in collaborating, you can reach me on my instagram @leahsoeiro or via email leahsoeiro98@gmail.com.” Leah chooses to face the uncomfortable ambiguity of identity and engage it with action, taking the lessons shared along the creative journey to come to a clearer understanding of herself.
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Ed Bell is working on a blog called www.activethought.life. In it, he explores Oxford, the poems of Catullus, projects for PLU, an online piano cabaret, his views on language learning, book and film reviews and will write about travel when it is once again possible.
The variety in activethought that Ed offers the reader is a good reminder that creativity does not have to be of one form; inspiration does not demand one medium through which it is manifested: stories, poems, translations, opinions; inspiration provides potential with which the artist then transforms into creation.
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“What’s the point?” is all too familiar reason I use to convince myself to remain stagnant. This isolating time has given me insights about inspiration, in particular about the active component of inspiration. Surely we might be inspired by a thing's beauty: the colors of a rose, the linework of a painting, the technicality of a tapestry; but we might also be inspired by the patience, motivation, and determination it takes to create, independent of the end product. So thank you - all of you - who continue to share your efforts with me.
How has confinement and the pandemic affected your understanding of inspiration? The comments are open below :) I’d love to know.